Tuesday, December 13, 2011

And Then We Came To the End

I've talked about this before with some of you, about how what I put on the screen is an abridged version of life as it really is. It has to be. Otherwise every moment would take a page, every day a book.

What I've put on this particular screen is, I think, the most truthful I've ever been. But I've left parts out. The ugly parts, the boring parts, the tedious parts. I'm not completely the person you know through this blog.

I haven't told you about how, once every couple of months, I scream at my kids so fiercely that my throat aches the rest of the day. I never mentioned how M and I had a not-quite-whispered argument in the car in front of a dear friend and how it embarrassed me. And this: if you are skinny, or rich, or otherwise remind me of certain girls from high school, I might not like you upon our first meeting. Yes, I'm shallow. Less than zenful.

Please don't mistake this as a call for reassurance - I have good qualities, I know. I am generally happy with who I am and how my life works. But people have said things to me about this blog, about how my life seems to be full of raucous laughter and sweet kisses, and it is but I don't want anyone to get the impression that joy is a constant, that I have reached the nirvana of family life and every day is sunshine and lollipops from the nice ladies at the bank.

So - it isn't.  Sometimes the lollipops are not the right flavor. 

That picture of me - I hate my teeth.  And my face is too red.  And one eye closes more than the other.  And is my nose really that big? But there I am. This is me.

We're going to keep going. B and I, we don't get to see each other very often even though we don't live all that far apart and we work even closer, geographically.  This is a way to stay in each others' lives and I don't want to give that up. Plus, the fame and fortune of blogging is just too much for us to resist. So join us in the new year at our new blog, www.letusgothenyouandi.wordpress.com. This isn't so much as goodbye as it so long, see you soon.
There are doors everywhere you look, some of them are magic and some of them don’t look like doors until you step through them.

Two years ago we came up with an idea for this collaboration. At the time it seemed like a lark and making it through all one hundred words was perhaps a possibility. Like seeing your child off to kindergarten and wondering what the cap and gown will look like at their high school graduation. Never has one felt so far away from its counterpart with the two extra zeros. Yet it’s never just a hop, step and a jump to the other side; rather its baby steps--one next to the other until you turn around and realize how far you’ve come. Turn around sometime and see for yourself, I promise that you will be amazed.

The writer, Mollie Hunter, says children are the ones who ‘never pass a secret place in the woods without a stare of curiosity for the mystery implied… who still turn corners with a lift of expectation at the heart.’ No matter how many years old I am this is how I live my life, always wondering and full of wonder. This is the season for delight and merriment, feeling like a child and realizing that anything is possible. Even magic.

If you just believe.

The next time you have a chance, say yes to a collaboration and see where it takes you. Open a door to another world and step through without hesitation. Little by little this blog has become a part of my weekly routine. By saying yes to this weird and wacky idea we had, there’s been the opportunity to reflect on our lives and connect with people we didn’t even know two years ago. Looking through my lens each week—every day if possible—has been the most incredible gift I could have ever asked for. Seeing what my dear friend a saw and reading her words next to mine has been surprising, funny, heart wrenching and has shown me parts of her I didn’t know. I cherish each and every one of these posts. Somehow we’ve created this mosaic of our lives, a bit of beauty from broken pottery and a little bit of somethin’ to make it all stick together.

As crazy as it can be, December is also the time of year when we start to wind down, wrap up presents and loose ends. We’ve finished our challenge and are taking on tackling another literary work, which should last about another two years. After a brief break we’ll post here every week starting in January. If you have a moment, please comment and let us know some of your favorite photos and stories. Hearing from you would be quite a treat as we gear up to step though another doorway into the beyond. We hope you’ll join us.


1 comment:

  1. Andi, I think you're stunning. And I'll join both of you, of course, wherever you go next. I've loved this blog.